And no state holds me within its bounds

I certainly believe that my life will certainly not end after I move out of Ann Arbor, though recently I have been feeling a very familiar feeling: being overwhelmed with activity and stimulation! Perhaps my body is interpreting this anxiety as life threatening and I am feeling pretty stressed out. Things need to get done and as you can see perhaps, blogging has not been a priority. Well, it has been a priority and something that I have desperately wanted to do, but somehow it hasn't worked out. I have been very very active recently, and even traveling across the Midwest...

New front door, same address
Same front step, same back-porch
Geraniums to the terrace
Sold my shoes to pay the rent
I won't be needing them
I won't be leaving too soon

Oh my dear, do undress
You look so different in those new shoes
To impress someone you have never met
Someone you already know
Is waiting behind my front door

And by the door you know I'll wait
Oh, by the window, by the gate
I'm waiting for your sound
So softly, dear, don't hesitate

The lion looms along the lake
And swallows every sound
But oh, I wish that I could take
That simple lonely way

That long cold lonely way
But these days it takes more than two feet
It takes four to fill the road
I fend and swing the axe at for

I've trampled all over the place
Swung to and fro and still no state
Has held me in its bounds

But by the bridge I'd like to stay
Oh, by the ocean, by the bay
And hope that you'll come around

Oh, my dear, do undress
You look so different in those new clothes
To impress someone you have never met
I'm the one needing you
I'm the one with no shoes

So by the door you know I'll wait
Oh, looking out the golden gate
She yawns into the morning...

-Ms. Carolyn Riggs

The beginning of July, how important it is recently.
I've been learning a lot recently about Associations:


I got to see Caitlin again when I traveled to Madison up from Chicago.
here she is studying for Nepali on the capital lawn, a place that she loves.



[photocredit: Ms. C. Shrestha]

[photocredit: Ms. C. Shrestha]
I am myself getting ready to move. 2 weeks from today things will happen like that. I've booked my truck and have found a place to stay for a few days in Boston while I look for a temporary place in August and then I will have to find a permanent place for the year. It is quite exciting. I have been experiencing a lot of stress, however, in regards to this leaving process and the reality that I am leaving the place I have called home for 4 years now. It seems like I should be just excited and happy, and yet, it is hard. I am unsure about what it is, separation? Fear of loneliness and boredom? I have been projecting this anger and I need to channel it. i've been getting frustrated with the fact that i have so many things to do before the move but i have plenty of time to do them, I just need to make myself get them accomplished. This involves saying no to friends sometimes and also saying no to the desire to go and sit on the porch for a while. Busy-ness. business... And I am also sad about the fact that my job is ending this Friday. It will be quite sad. I better make the last 2 weeks awesome and make myself feel good instead of upset, that would be a tough memory to have of this beautiful place. i will always think of Michigan. Michigan may be a dream to me in the future, but I will know it was real at some point. Adieu, Michigan. Aufwiedersehen, Досвидание.

1 comment:

Caitlin said...

don't worry, you're not always moving forward--you can always go backwards and up and down and side to side and..

how much has happened between those photos..