3/24/2010

I knew when I said

I knew when I said
I love you
that I was inventing a new alphabet
for a city where no one could read
that I was saying my poems
in an empty theater
and pouring my wine
for those who could not
taste it.

-Nizar Qabbani

3/15/2010

Rainy Weekend, its Saturday, I'm at work

I'm completely back and forth on the necessity of identifying with one's past or alternatively completely eschewing it. Though a few posts ago I advocated the dissociation with a past, in favor of the savory salience of the present moment, I am now interested in the many things that make us who we are. This must then imply a connection with ones past, as we are more complex than just what is in front of us. Take my new fascination with closets and dressers, with bookshelves even. Those things, in a person's rooms, in their homes, are so so intimate and unique. And what is most interesting about clothing and books, most importantly, is the layered individualism within those shelves and coat hangers: each book is distinct, each sweater and t-shirt cannot be identical. Each has been acquired in a new way, each with a story, boring or complex. And I really do believe that these objects reflect little facets of our whole self. As with emotions, moods, behavior, habits, dislikes and romances, between which we really switch constantly, we can similarly put on a new sweater, pick up a book from the shelf. Each a story from our past and each a part of our self, our identity. We really go through so many emotions during the day, and yet we are still ourselves, we still have our personality and our identity, our I AM, our Я. These fluctuations are rooted in our psychology, ultimately. As with the material objects in our lives, our behaviors were influenced by things in our past, many of which we do not know and may never understand. There is a history in the self that would be a shame to forget or ignore. The bookshelf retains its character, the closet its unique combination of so many different parts and the self is entirely the most unique and beautiful thing in the universe.


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